I am woman

Well I had a huge pity party. Just for myself. Party of one. I felt so dang bad for myself that I was injured again! I think I was becoming too obsessed with my body image and the whole shebang because seriously, I was freaking out about gaining weight. We went rock climbing (what a smart idea. You hurt yourself so go do something that will hurt you more HA! It was still fun though) 

I saw these pictures and just. about. DIED! I picked out every flaw. Look at my round face! My bulging stomach! And don't even look at my butt and legs in that harness!! I seriously wanted to die and erase them all from my husbands phone. 

I had to really think and reflect on why I was being so hard on myself. I seriously have some issues. I am a woman. I birthed a freaking human for crying out loud! Doesn't that mean I deserve a billion awards and for no one to look at me and think I've gotten bigger? Doesn't it mean I deserve to feel confident of my new body instead of ashamed of it? Because seriously, I have been anything but proud of what my body has been through and for that I feel ashamed. 

I am a woman! I am proud of my self. I have given up my body to bring another person into this world. She doesn't care what I look like or my pant size. She cares about me and how much I love and take care of her. That. Is. All. 

I don't want her to get a negative image about her. If I talk bad about myself what does that say to her? I love my body and have had a really good weekend realizing that I look DANG good and I am ok with how I look! 

Loooooove her to pieces!

This is what I saw on the scale this morning. I am reaching my goals the healthy way and I am pretty dang proud of that! (Yes I have flinestone feet.)

I'm Out

A week ago I was all smiles and taking these pictures:

This was me as of yesterday...

(yessss I have a messy home but we are moving and I don't care)

Here are the details. 1 hurt rotator cuff, 1 hurt bicep cuff (different shoulders), 1 knee with tendonitis or what the doc calls jumpers knee. 

I am down. wayyyy down. Pretty upset about not even being able to do anything. I hurt my left shoulder doing Jillian in Feb. Now I've jacked everything up. 

No insanity, no running, squats, weights, jumping jacks, nothing. 

I can't even talk about it. I'm emotional and upset. I can't go back to who I was. I just can't. Exercise is a part of my every single day. I don' tenjoy  my rest days and now I am forced to take a lot of them. 

I start physical therapy Monday and barely talked my doctor into letting me run my 5k next weekend. 

How do you deal with so much injury?? I seriously feel extremely down. 

Reality Check

I have this terrible habit. It's a very hard habit to break. I look at how far I have to go instead of how far I have come. This happened last time I lost weight and it's happening again.

Instead of thinking good job! You are fitting into a pair of pre pregnancy jeans I think well look at all the other jeans I still can't wear or these ones are still tight. I look at all the chubbiness I still have instead of how much of it I have lost.

So in honor of starting week 3 of insanity and having another fit test, I thought I would take a progression shot. Man was I sure surprised.

I decided to make yet another collage comparing my before and during. The left pictures are Jan 1st 2013 and the right ones are from today 4/7/2013.

Talk about a real reality check. Yes I still have a longggg way to go. (I want my six pack back DANG IT!) but I have really made some strides and have changed so so so much!

I have to remember how far I've come! Getting back into shape is not only a physical challenge but it's an emotional and mental challenge as well. It's a tough journey but so far I am loving it!

Reunited and it feels so good!

You guys. 

I can't even take the smile off my face. 

Do you see what I see? 

No, not the dorky smile, dirty mirror or carpets, or flip flops. 

Say it with me: 

Pre. Pregnancy. Jeans. 

Size 9  and they fit!! 

I was a size 16 post baby.

"reunited and it feels so good..."

Attention

I've been getting frustrated at my body lately. I have been busting my butt so I can finally slip on those pre pregnancy jeans. Still not even close. I have been working so so so hard and hoping in the next few months that it will happen. I still push myself everyday and feel like I am not getting anywhere fast.

Then I had a few people within the same day tell me they notice a difference. Talk about a boost of confidence and motivation! I don't need people to compliment me but it sure was nice to hear that people can see all my hard work. It is paying off even if I don't see it!

I really need to focus on inches lost rather than then number on the scale. I am still at a solid 174. Up two pounds since starting insanity. I read a good article here  about why you gain when you start a new program. I am SO grateful to have read that and hope to see those 2 pounds go away and more come off.

I am motivated, I have the desire, and I want to keep pushing! So for those of you reading this, you look awesome and keep going! We can reach our goals :)

Insanity (mostly) week 1

I realize there is still a day left of insanity I have to accomplish for this week BUT I just have to share how my week has been so far.

See this picture below?

This is only a little smidgen of how my week has been. Hair bows, binky clips, bow ties, bows, bows bows, bows and so on. I have been extremely busy with Easter this week in my shop and I love it! 

Best part is somehow I have still found time to work out in between all the sewing and hot gluing. 

I seriously feel amazing after finishing this week. Life isn't going to slow down much and I will still have a million reasons to not workout but you know what? I do it anyways and always feel better afterwards. 

Except for one thing: 

Wednesday I get this bright idea that I should run 1.5 miles all over my VERY hilly neighborhood while pushing my 15 pound child in her stroller. Then after a meeting I had in the evening I ever so smartly decided to complete my insanity for the day. Can you say dumb?! Note to self: don't ever, never ever run your fastest mile while pushing the stroller and then attempt a 40 minute workout. You will die. And fall on the floor the last 10 minutes of insanity because your legs are shaking. 

Other than that my week has gone well and I've made it through each day successfully. 

If anyone is thinking of trying insanity I wouldn't just jump right in if you have never worked out. I mean you could, but it's super hard and I am just glad my body is somewhat used to being pushed to it's limits and then some. 

Now, everyone have a fab Easter weekend! Eat some treats (you know I am) and remember what the day is really for! 

Liebster Award

I was nominated by my cute blog friend Ashley over at Work That Ash. Basically we are best blog friends... or I just decided we are because I think she is wonderful and inspiring so you should go check out her blog! 

Basically this award is to help other bloggers get to know your blog and to pass it on to other bloggers! 

First let me tell you a little bit about myself. 

1. I was born and raised in Utah. I love it here! I am nervous to move out to Missouri to start med school with my husband but am also very excited. If I die in a tornado though I will haunt my husband for the rest of his life. (I am terrified or tornadoes! haha) 

2. Our daughter is Oakley Rae and she is the light of our lives. I get super emotional just talking about her because she saved me. I never knew love, happiness, joy, or peace until she came into it. I don't know why I was so blessed to have a baby when others are not but I don't take a day for granted. Love that little stinker. 

3. I've traveled a lot in my life. I was blessed to be taken on many vacations growing up. I've been to a lot of states and a few different countries! 

4. I have two different sized thumbs. It's the truth. I can't post a picture right now because well, how would I take the picture. The thumb on my right hand looks like a toe and freaks people out. No it didn't get chopped off. Baby I was born this way. (gaga anyone?) 

5. I graduated from Weber State University in 2012 while I was 20 weeks pregnant in Family Studies. Very fitting I guess. But really I loved my degree and the knowledge it equipped me with to become a better parent. 

6. I wish a lot of times that I would have majored in dance. I should have just followed my heart and done it. Instead I just taught little kids dance. Loved it!

7. I got married May 4th 2010 to a boy I didn't think I would even be super close friends with because we weren't interested in one another at all. Funny how things work out.

8. I hate to clean. There I said it. I hate hate hate it. Yes I enjoy having a clean home but I will choose just about anything over chores. SO you guessed it, my house is a disaster right now. 

9. I recently started a little business and I love it. A year ago I could hardly work a sewing machine and didn't even know how to crochet and now I sell the items I make. I am self taught on everything I do! 

10. If a recipe has more than about 4-5 items in it you can bet I probably won't make it. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

11. I am a TV-aholic. But I am recovering (kinda). 

I love fun questions and my cute husband helped me answer these (some of his answers were hilarious). I put both my answers and what he thought would be my answer. What a cute guy. 

1. Where is your favorite place to visit?

Mine: Park City   Aust says : St George. Definitely top two places in the world. Also if you don't know what those are they are in Utah and just about the best places in the world. 

2. What is your guilty pleasure?

Mine: Well lately it's been eating treats aka brownies. Yum!  Austin says: Dexter. Yes, I admit it, I watch dexter so there. 

3. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Mine: Rue 21, for some reason their pants fit my body shape the best. Aust says: Sears only because I've been to sears twice in the last 2 weeks to look at HRM so I guess it's now my favorite? 

4. If you could buy anything at this moment what would it be?

Mine: A nice Heart Rate Monitor, lots of cute shoes and workout clothes.  Aust says: What wouldn't you buy? haha but he said a house. ehhh I would probably buy clothes ;) 

5. Who is your inspiration?

Mine: I am inspired by so many people. I couldn't just name one I don't think. Aust says: Himself haha

6. What is your favorite T.V. show? 

Mine: Grey's Anatomy  Austin says: some dumb reality show

Nothing beats out greys in my book. I am obsessed with that show. 

7. If you could be one person for a day who would it be?

Mine: I said Oprah because she has a crap ton of money and can do whatever she wants. 

8. Where is your dream vacation?

Mine: Italy. I've dreamed of going there forever and a day. Austin says: Somewhere with a beach. That is definitely my second choice! 

9. What song are you really into right now?

Mine: Mumford and Sons. The entire album. Anddd that new Rihanna song Stay. Austin says: That mumford and whatever. 

10.  What annoys you?

Mine: Rude people (Like that lady who literally took the cardigan out of my hands at old navy today and just walked off. Oh I was going to freak!) Dirty socks in my front room (cough husbands socks cough)  Austin Says: What doesn't annoy you? Yeahhhh apparently I get annoyed a lot or something?

11. What would your super power be?

Mine: I said I would want to be Katniss. Austins says that she isn't a super power and I said well she should be. I basically have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence... ok way off topic. I would go invisible! 

Now for my questions: 

1. What is your favorite thing about where you live? 

2. If you could have any job what would you do? 

3. What is the best vacation you have ever been on? 

4. What is something quirky about you that not a lot of people know? 

5. What is your favorite movie and why? 

6. Who is your celebrity crush? 

7. What is your least favorite food? 

8. Favorite place to go eat? 

9. Favorite ice cream flavor? (maybe I just really like food posts ok!?) 

10. Morning or night person? 

11. Favorite Sport? 

I nominate: 

Hallie @ Penguins, Pasta, & Polka Dots 

Nichole @ Casa de Crews

Emily @ Running Like A Mother

Sonya @ Healthy Sew 

Meredith @ Is This Thing On?
Emily @ Osborne